Educational, Mind/Body Wellness |
Taking a holistic approach to your health means looking at yourself as a whole person. Health problems are often not just isolated issues, and different aspects of your health can play into each other. One simple example of this is that you’re not feeling very well because you have a cold. You might not be in a perfect mood, either. One health issue can affect others, leading to more problems that all need to be addressed. When you take a holistic approach, you can make sure that no stone remains unturned to keep you healthy. If you want to take a holistic approach to your health, here are some of the things you can do.
Pay Attention to Your Diet
Regular exercise is important for staying healthy. However, it’s not the only thing that you need if you want to keep fit. Your diet is also important for your health, whether you want to lose, gain, or maintain weight or get all of the nutrients you need. Your diet plays an important role when you’re trying to recover from illness too. You can read an article where American Addiction Centers reviews the importance of nutrition in substance abuse recovery. When you’re eating the right things, you give your body the fuel it needs to get better.
I am, by no means, perfect in this area. I’m on the food struggle-bus a lot. We don’t have access to many fresh foods like those in bigger cities, and boy, trying to get my carb-loving family to take the initiative to cut a celery stick and dig out the peanut butter is nearly impossible unless I set it out in front of them. Anything that takes effort in my home for my family is probably the biggest challenge in making better choices. And, I suppose, if the carbs aren’t brought into the home, they’re not there to be eaten. We easily become lazy in this department, as many people do. When I say “lazy,” I mean it in a way that it takes effort to choose, purchase, and eat more wisely.
Perhaps it would be good for me to look at my food story growing up for insight into this, too. Growing up, carbs were the cheapest thing to buy. I did not grow up eating balanced meals. And that, my friends, is a hard habit to break. Something to work toward for sure – healing that food story. Do you have a food story? I bet you do if you’re on the food struggle-bus. Just las we all have a money story, we all have a food story, too.
Care for Mental Health
The mind-body connection is one of the key things to pay attention to if you want to take a holistic approach to health. Your mental health and the way your mind works can affect your physical health, and vice versa. When you have physical health problems, it can affect your mental health for various reasons, whether it’s because something in your body affects your mood or because the change in your life is getting you down. Poor mental health can lead to less care for your physical health too. That’s why it’s essential to take care of both together.
I also lean toward the belief that our bodies respond to what’s going on in our minds and the thoughts we are most focused on in our lives. If we’re focused on the doom and gloom of life, we’re likely to behave as if life is doom and gloom, and there’s nothing to be joyful about, right? Likewise, if we put our thoughts on a pedestal and truly pay attention to what we’re telling ourselves throughout the day or all of the problems we’re focusing on – we can see that those thoughts are likely harming our bodies.
This is what grief does to us. It swings the pendulum of joy in the opposite direction, and we must work daily to find balance. We must not neglect the sad, angry, or fearful feelings; rather, we must feel them heal them, so they do not consume us.
Use a Health Tracker App
Keeping a close eye on your health and the healthy things you choose to do can help you feel a sense of control. A health tracker app, perhaps paired with a wearable fitness tracker, is a great way to put yourself in control of your health. It can help you to get an overview of different aspects of your health, from exercising and your diet to practicing meditation and mindfulness. Different apps will offer varying features that might come in handy.
I personally wear a Garmin. I wanted a tracker that looked more like a watch. Before I gave up alcohol, my Garmin showed me how it negatively impacted me for up to 12 hours after. It was fascinating to see how consistently alcohol was adding stress to my body. I also see the same spike in stress during sleep when I’ve been gone shopping for a whole day. Crowds, lines, and shopping, in general, are not things I enjoy and are taxing to my energy. Another stat I’m able to monitor is how my cycle, step count, and so forth impact my sleep and stress throughout the day. I have found the Garmin to be very accurate, too, compared to my count when I’m on my treadmill. Using a health tracker for insight into your health is a great place to start. However, when you’re utilizing it to obsess over your step count, as I did years ago when I first got a FitBit, it is counter-productive to your mental health and overall well-being.
Find the Right Doctor
If you want to take a holistic approach to care for your health, it’s also a good idea to find a doctor who will do the same. Whether you’re looking for a primary care doctor or trying to find the right specialist, you need someone who will treat your whole person, rather than zeroing in on specific problems or symptoms and disregarding other factors.
I recently was referred to a naturopath, a good friend who shared an educational video on hormones and how she approaches hormones holistically. It was eye-opening to me. I wish I could share it but, it was shared with my friend’s private community. This naturopath indicated that a female’s spit should be used to show accurate hormone levels. They should be taken throughout the duration of a menstrual cycle to determine when any hormone dosage needs to be adjusted. She added that our hormones are directly related to our liver and tied to all bodily functions. So, hormones are pretty darn important. If you haven’t heard of “fatty liver,” look it up. Now, imagine how “fatty liver” is impacting your hormones and your entire body!
To take a holistic approach to your health, you need to consider every part of yourself. It’s also helpful to have support from health professionals who will do the same.
Educational, Grief Tips, Grieving Voices Podcast, Growth, Living Unleashed, Mind/Body Wellness, Pespective |
Do you like to play dodgeball? You know, the game where balls are thrown at you with the goal of getting you out of the game? And, you hope that you don’t end up with a bloody nose by the end of it?
Imagine your thoughts being the ball and your heart and physical body are on the receiving end. And, consider how many times during any given day you are the one throwing the insults in the direction of yourself.
The most important conversation we need to have when we do this is not in our heads. Rather, the most important conversation we need to have in moments like this is the one we have with ourselves and with our hearts.
We have more than 6,000 thoughts in a day, according to a study conducted by researchers at Queen’s University in Canada. Also, according to the study,
Anxious or racing thoughts, negative self-talk, worry, and overthinking are hallmarks for people who know the challenges of dealing with mental health diagnoses like anxiety and depression. These conditions affect a growing number of Americans.
- Anxiety disorders affect 1% of people in the U.S., making it the most common mental illness.
- According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.”
I’ve been reading the book, “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It,” by Kamal Ravikant. In it, the author shares how he turned his life around by using a self-love practice, which he found by doing more of what made him feel better. At the core of this practice is telling himself every single day, throughout the day, that he loved himself. I’m not quite half-way through the book, but so far, my takeaway is that this book reinforces what I learned through grief recovery, and that is: We can’t heal the heart with the head. We certainly don’t heal the heart either by all the garbage we tell ourselves on a daily basis. All this does is reinforce the beliefs we have about ourselves, thereby, reinforcing the repeated patterns of behavior that keep us stuck in our lives.
So, I’ve been working on implementing my own “self-love” practice, and it does include principals taught in this book. Along with the other healing modalities I have learned along the way (grief recovery education and the practical tools it provides along with reiki), I feel like I am leaving 2020 more emotionally resilient than how I came into the year. Also, far more prepared for whatever 2021 may bring, too. I’m working on changing the conversations I have with myself.
The majority of us have spent years in self-loathing. The opposite of self-loathing is self-love. And, it’s a sport most of us need a lot of practice in, in order to see our hearts transformed. The timing of coming across this book is uncanny and very synchronistic. So, I’m fully embracing it and trusting that it’s a part of the process I’m ready to dig into for my own healing.
If you desire change in your life, it starts with the most important conversation you need to have – the one with yourself and your heart. When was the last time you asked your heart what it needs?
This year, I learned this from a mentor, and I keep a post-it with this written on it, above my desk, where I see it every single day.
I am where my attention is.
Who would I be…
What would I do…
and
How would I feel if I already had…
Where do you want your attention to be as we bring 2020 to a close?
Where do you want your attention to be in 2021?
Healing is my jam. To bring my best light and my best self to the work that I do, I need to work on clearing out my own gunk. Put another way, as Kamal Ravikant mentions in his book, I need to keep bringing out the rag and clean my windows.
Maybe you’re not looking to be a healer-type person. That doesn’t matter. Because I would bet that what you really want is to feel better and to live your best life. Am I right?
Start within and listen to the guidance of your knowing heart.
P.S. We start by asking ourselves better questions. If you’ve never listened to my podcast, Grieving Voices, the first 12 episodes are a great start! You’ll be doing all sorts of reflecting and asking yourself all kinds of questions as you listen. Take it one step further and grab a notebook and pen and put your thoughts on paper. We can turn our screams into whispers…trust me. (Side Note: “When Screams Turn Into Whispers” is a book title for someone I interviewed for the podcast recently – such a great episode on bipolar disorder that I can’t wait to share)
Childhood Grief, Death/Dying, Educational, Grief, Growth, Pespective, Resources |
Do you believe that you are forever going to feel sad, isolated, or in your current circumstances?
Do you believe that others have their lives figured out and don’t understand how you feel?
Does it feel true that who you thought you were has been upheaved and that you’ve been shaken at your foundation?
Six years ago, I embarked on a path of some deep excavation. It’s often been painful, but I have found that the excavating hasn’t been nearly as painful as the emotional dis-ease I had been feeling. With each passing year, I’ve learned how to be more conscious of my thought process, actions, and it’s gotten a lot easier to recognize when I start down an emotional tailspin. It’s gotten so much easier to snap out of it, too. Whereas, years ago, circumstances and my internal emotional climate would have derailed me for weeks. When you’ve had your entire life to form your beliefs and behaviors through experience and circumstances, it becomes a project of rewiring your brain and creating new connections.
I held those beliefs I shared previously. I felt I was destined to feel crazy for the rest of my life. Back then, it was a program that helped me snap out of it. In 2014, I discovered Tony Robbins. Through his work and the inner-work, I started to get sick of my own self. I started to learn new ways of BE-ING. I started to ask myself deeper (and better) questions.
Finding our way to our best selves, the heart of who we’ve always been isn’t a complicated process. But, it does take time, and it does take commitment to yourself. When I say it takes time, you don’t have to spend hours a day every day of the week. Starting small is still a start. Whether you incorporate one thing into your daily life, such as journaling, meditation, yoga, a daily walk (to think and let your mind go or listen to insightful/inspiring podcasts), or a simple breathing practice (which is actually more challenging than meditation for me), another option is to add in a regular Reiki Guided Healing Meditation session (followed by receiving reiki). This is a powerful session (60 or 90 minutes) that takes you to a depth of self that you have likely never experienced. And, after next weekend, I’ll be able to offer an even more elevated Reiki session after I complete my Usui Karuna Holy Fire Certification.
If you’d like to dig into the depths of heart even more deeply (and with an end date of the work you’ll do that is proven to provide results), we can work together online. You may feel that grief recovery isn’t for you. However, ask yourself how many losses you’ve had.
Do you want to discover losses that may be holding you back in your life? Below, I have a questionnaire that will help you discover what may be keeping you tied to the past. I provided this document at speaking events, and it helps understand how grief isn’t just about death. You’ll receive the download immediately!
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I want you to feel hope, more than anything. For years, I had lost it, and I know the impact that had on my spirit. There is help, and there are resources out there. Know that you are worth the investment in yourself.
What is emotional freedom, feeling aligned inside, and having a deeper understanding of your past, so the same beliefs and behavior patterns don’t repeat themselves – worth to you?
Here for you – always.
Educational, Growth, Pespective |
This week’s newsletter I sent out on Wednesday was about boredom. I thought I would go a bit more into depth on the topic here on the blog.
The one phrase you will never hear me say is…”I’m bored.”
I don’t know what boredom is. Even as a kid, I always found something to do. On the flip-side of not having anything to do, I don’t feel bored when I find myself just “BE-ING.”
When was the last time you allowed yourself to BE?
My response to my kids when they say they’re bored is the same every single time: “Don’t tell me you’re bored because I’ll find something for you to do!” There’s always something that can be cleaned, organized, or whatnot when you have a home.
How often do you think about there being nothing to do and feel bored?
Here are some questions to ask yourself when you feel bored:
- How would I rather feel (Inspired, Creative, Joyful, Accomplished)?
- What am I curious to learn more about?
- Why do I have a hard time being still and present?
- What is one thing I’ve never tried but always wanted to?
If you consider all of the possibilities and opportunities that await you daily, boredom wouldn’t even enter your mind.
Follow what makes you curious.
Rather than mindlessly watching tv out of boredom, or scrolling all of the Facebook drama (which neither of these serves your highest good), look within to see what it is you wish to discover or learn about yourself or begin the practice of just BE-ING still with yourself. One of my favorite things to do during the warmer months is sitting outside early in the morning and listening to the birds serenade me. I feel such peace. And nowadays, who couldn’t use more of that?
In this article by the American Psychological Association, it says:
There’s even evidence that the phrase “bored to death” has some truth to it. As part of the Whitehall II Study, begun in 1985, British civil servants answered questions about social determinants of health, including some questions about boredom. More than two decades later, Annie Britton, PhD, and Martin Shipley, PhD, compared their responses with death records. They found the people who reported experiencing a great deal of boredom were more likely to die young than those who were more engaged with the world (International Journal of Epidemiology, 2010). The researchers theorize that boredom was probably a proxy for other risk factors, such as drug and alcohol use. Boredom is also associated with performance detriments, which in some cases can lead to serious problems.
“We know when people are bored they’re more likely to make performance errors and likely to not be as productive,” says Eastwood. “That’s a big deal if you’re an air-traffic controller or you’re monitoring a nuclear plant.”
On the other hand, boredom can prompt people to move out of tedious routines. Belton recently interviewed people known for their creative success, including an artist, a novelist, a poet and a neuroscientist. “They all said boredom can instigate new thinking and prod them into trying new things,” she says.
The poet took up his craft in middle age after finding himself stuck in a hospital bed for several hours with nothing to do. The only paper he had available was a stack of Post-It Notes, so he began writing poetry, the most practical activity to fit on three square inches.
“If people don’t have the inner resources to deal with boredom constructively, they might do something destructive to fill the void,” Belton says. “Those who have the patience to stay with that feeling, and the imagination and confidence to try out new ideas, are likely to make something creative out of it.”
The last paragraph above, from that blog post, is the premise of this blog post today. Use boredom to your advantage; take the time to BE, or use it as fuel to follow your curiosity in life. And, ask yourself if you are feeling bored if you’re looking for or needing something to fill a void you’re feeling in your life.
I have days where I binge-watch a show. Particularly on days when I’ve had a week where my mental bandwidth was pushed to the max and needed to let my mind go, meditation is great for this, too, of course, but I do get where sometimes you need just to let your mind go and prefer to do so in an entertaining way. However, if we ask ourselves if I’m bored because I’m avoiding a greater issue at play internally or am seeking out an outside fix to fill that internal void – that’s where we are given an opportunity.
If You Have the Opportunity to Be Bored, You Have the Opportunity to Grow
The opportunity is what this post is about, too. We are given opportunities to grow daily, because, if we’re in relationships with people, there’s always something to learn. Our relationships, and the substance of those relationships, are a mirror and reflect us where we’re living in our authenticity or where we’re operating out of a place of fear.
So, the next time you’re bored – perhaps, it is just that. But, I challenge you to think outside of the state of being bored and into a state of a more effective and self-serving way to use your time. What is something you’d like to learn about yourself? What do your dreams mean? What location sounds interesting to explore? Where are there opportunities to grow – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally?
The best question to ask ourselves is how we waste our own time – which is the most precious commodity we all have. And, for being a society which relishes on the idea of never having enough of it, there shouldn’t be anyone saying they’re bored. And, on the flip-side, perhaps people aren’t allowing themselves to get to that state in the first place? Where they ask themselves the very questions, I posed in this blog post. Hmmm…getting deep…
I would be remiss if I didn’t weave this somehow into grief. Those who do not have the luxury of being bored because they are a caregiver to someone ill (physically or mentally) or dying are thrown into growth territory they didn’t ask for whether they like it or not. Experiences like these leave imprints on our hearts and sometimes, not the best of ones. So, for those of you who are a caregiver, I’m not going to sit here and tell you to find time to get bored. Rather, maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is to create some space in your day to reflect. Celebrate where you showed compassion, empathy, and care so selflessly. Acknowledge the fact that you are being an expression of love to someone else. And, for those of us who are not in the position of caring for someone ill/dying, may we consider that boredom is a luxury and it’s time to utilize our time for good – of improving ourselves or the lives of others.
What say you? Do you find yourself frequently bored? Or, do you wish you actually had the “luxury” of being bored?
I guess how you answer is a reflection of how you view time itself. And, the impact you wish to leave on the world.
Educational, Grief, Grief Stories, Grief Tips, Mind/Body Wellness, Podcast, Reiki, Resources |
Carrying grief is exhausting. It ripples into every corner of your life, dimming our light and brightness along the way.
Grief is a burden we all shoulder, and despite the passage of time and positive thinking, we are unable to bury it or wish it away.
And many of us do not even realize this load on our shoulders; causing us to snap at our loved ones and reach for food, alcohol, and other crutches to numb and pacify ourselves for a short time.
Grief is not spoken about and because of this, we don’t even realize how it is preventing us from living the life we desire to lead.
Have a listen to my guest appearance on
Michelle’s Podcast in preparation for this workshop. This is a great conversation where ample examples are given of the different ways grief presents itself.
My beautiful friend, Michelle Marsh (Aromonosis Coach + Facilitator, Podcaster, Writer, and Natural Living Advocate) is bringing me into her community to hold a Grief Healing Aromanosis Experience. With her expertise in the area of hypnosis, aromatherapy, and holistic wellness, and mine in all things grief + reiki, we are bringing our hearts together to facilitate this very special healing workshop.
Is this workshop for you? If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you may already identify yourself as a griever. If not, I encourage you to check out my podcast, Grieving Voices, where I offer bite-sized, weekly grief education.
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss or any change from what is familiar in life. It is the emotional response to change. It can be defined as a feeling associated with the things we wish might have been different, better, or more in any relationship. Whether it is with a person, a pet, a job, an educational experience, or even a place of residence doesn’t matter. Grief can be a result of unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations in any relationship as well.
The Ways Grief Manifests
Some people find that the confusing feelings that grief generates interfere with sleep, while others find it challenging to get up and function after waking up.
Some people find that they feel sad or cry over things that never seemed to bother them before.
Many find themselves longing for that relationship lost, and others find, especially when they discover that friends seem to be able to offer little meaningful help, that they lose some of their ability to trust others.
Some find themselves easily irritated, while others do not have the energy to feel much of anything.
For some, the memories leading up to and including the moment of loss overshadow all of their fond memories of that relationship.
Simply stated, grief can be overwhelming! Just as overwhelming can be the labels that are put on grievers and the advice that they are given.
To gain FREE access to the LIVE workshop, enter your details below and I will send you the Zoom link on Monday, September 14th. The workshop will be at 7:00 AM CST on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020. My friend, Michelle, is located in Australia, where it will be evening. No worries – by signing up, you’ll receive the recording! However, if you can make it LIVE, it is highly recommended. 😉
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You can learn more about Michelle and her Aromanosis Membership HERE. For questions about the Aromanosis Membership, email Michelle directly.
Educational, Grief, Resources |
Sunday, August 30th is National Grief Awareness Day.
I thought I would share, in today’s post, the different types of grieving events.
In 1967, Dr. Thomas Holmes and Dr. Richard Rahe, both psychiatrists, researched the medical records of 5000 patients to look at the correlation between their levels of emotional stress and their illnesses. They created the Social Readjustment Rating Scale, also known as the Holmes Rahe Stress Scale, which was used as a scoring mechanism to rate the various stress indicators as part of their study. This list, commonly known as the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, is considered a definitive ranking system.
The Grief Recovery Institute often states that “stress” is another word for “grief.” The Grief Recovery Institute defines grief as:
Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior; the normal and natural reaction to any change that occurs in life.
While it may be helpful in the therapeutic setting to use a numerical ranking scale in looking at stressors related to their impact on medical conditions, this serves no purpose when used in the context of those events that can result in grief. It’s also important to remember that each individual grieves at 100% for their particular loss. There is no need or value to rate one grief-generating event as having more impactful than another since the grief that each person feels is based on his or her own unique situation.
We have all been in situations where we have heard someone say, “you may think your situation is bad, but mine is even worse!” Comparing losses does nothing to help with recovery. To suggest to Griever A that his or her loss is less significant than that of Grievers B only creates more emotional pain for Griever A, in that they may feel the need to further internalize their feelings since they have been told they are of lesser value. Our focus, in grief recovery, has always been that grievers are far better served in taking recovery actions, rather than in arguing over who is hurting the most!
Below you will find the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale for Adults. Some events, such as marriage, may bring to mind more memories of joy than pain. In this case, we need to remember that there is grief associated with changes from normal behavior patterns, of which there can be many in moving from “single” to “married.”
Grieving Events
- Death of a spouse
- Divorce
- Marital separation
- Imprisonment
- Death of a close family member
- Sexual assault
- Domestic Violence
- Runaway child
- Missing child
- Pet loss
- Personal injury or illness
- Marriage
- Dismissal from work
- Marital reconciliation
- Retirement
- Change in health of family member
- Pregnancy
- Sexual difficulties
- Sexuality
- Gain a new family member
- Business readjustment
- Change in financial state
- Death of a close friend
- Change to a different line of work
- Change in frequency of arguments
- Major mortgage
- Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
- Change in responsibilities at work
- Child leaving home
- Trouble with in-laws
- Outstanding personal achievement
- Spouse starts or stops work
- Begin or end school
- Change in living conditions
- Revision of personal habits
- Trouble with boss
- Change in working hours or conditions
- Change in residence
- Change in schools
- Change in recreation
- Change in church activities
- Change in social activities
- Minor mortgage or loan
- Change in sleeping habits
- Change in number of family reunions
- Change in eating habits
- Vacation
- Holidays
- Minor violation of law
- Loss of Trust, Loss of Approval, Loss of Safety and Loss of Control of my body
The greatest value to this listing is in helping people understand that grief is not just about death. Stress and stressful events come in many packages, which is true for grief as well.
A slightly modified version of this Stress Scale was created for those over 55, to reflect those life events that come with aging. In many ways, this scale is similar to the one for adults, but it likewise fails to mention the same stressors and grief causing events that are noted above.
- Death of a Spouse
- Divorce
- Nursing/Retirement Home Move
- Marital Separation
- Death of Close Family Member
- Major Physical Problems
- Marriage or Remarriage
- Lack of Dreams/Purpose
- Financial Loss of Retirement
- Forced Early Retirement
- Unable to Drive
- Marital Reconciliation
- Normal Retirement
- Spouse Confined to Retirement Home
- Family Member Change of Health
- Gain New Family Member
- Change in Financial State
- Death of Close Friend
- Difficulty in Getting Insurance
- Change in Arguments with Spouse
- Mortgage Over $100,000
- Foreclosure of Mortgage/Loan
- Sense of Not Being Needed
- Outstanding Personal Achievement
- Spouse Begins or Stops Work
- Decreased Contact Family/Friends
- Change in Personal Habits
- Less Contact with Support Groups
- Trouble with Boss/Work
- Minor Physical Problems
- Change in Recreation Habits
- Change in Church Activities
- Change in Social Activities
- Loans of Less than $100,000
- Change in Sleeping Habits
- Change in Family Gatherings
- Change in Eating Habits
- Vacations Christmas
- Minor Law Violation
Yet another version of this scale was developed for, so-called, “Non-Adults.” Just as is the case with the “Adult Scale,” there are many additions that could be made to this list for grieving experiences for children, based on their unique relationships and level of development. This list also fails to include elements of child abuse on any level, sexual matters, bullying, and cyberbullying or such things as loss of Safety, Approval, Faith or personal control.
- Death of parent
- Unplanned pregnancy/abortion
- Getting married
- Divorce of parents
- Acquiring a visible deformity
- Fathering a child
- Jail sentence of a parent for over one year
- Marital separation of parents
- Death of a brother or sister
- Change in acceptance by peers
- Unplanned pregnancy of sister
- Discovery of being an adopted child
- Marriage of parent to step-parent
- Death of a close friend
- Having a visible congenital deformity
- Serious illness requiring hospitalization
- Failure of a grade in school
- Not making an extracurricular activity
- Hospitalization of a parent
- Jail sentence of a parent for over 30 days
- Breaking up with boyfriend or girlfriend
- Beginning to date
- Suspension from school
- Becoming involved with drugs or alcohol
- Birth of a brother or sister
- Increase in arguments between parents
- Loss of job by parent
- Outstanding personal achievement
- Change in parent’s financial status
- Accepted at college of choice
- Being a senior in high school
- Hospitalization of a sibling
- Increased absence of a parent from home
- Brother or sister leaving home
- Addition of third adult to family
- Becoming a full-fledged member of a church
- A decrease in arguments between parents
- A decrease in arguments with parents
- Mother or father beginning work
Taking Action
A very important point to remember is that it is one thing to realize that these are events that can bring stress and grief into your life, and quite another thing to take action. Most people carry around a great deal of grief that they hold inside. Unlike a broken arm or leg that is made obvious by a cast, a broken heart is far less easy to see. As with a broken limb, we take action to heal the wound…action is also needed to heal a broken heart; time alone doesn’t heal a wound, action within time is required.
The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale was first utilized in looking at the strong correlation between the stressors that impact people’s lives and their actual medical issues. People under stress are more prone to a variety of medical complications. Reducing your stress/grief can have a positive impact on your physical well being.
Our focus, at the Grief Recovery Institute, is in moving beyond the emotional pain of loss. The Grief Recovery Method is a proven, step-by-step process for accomplishing this. It’s designed to help people deal not only with past and current issues regarding the stress of grief, but also to provide the tools to deal with future issues, as they develop.
In Closing
As previously stated, the value of these lists is in reminding everyone that there are many life events that potentially cause grief. Society most often thinks of grief as death-related. However, as I hope you can see now, it’s a far broader topic than just being about death. And, if you really think about it, grief is everywhere. Most people you encounter in your daily life have lost someone or something; they grieve something or someone. Whether there is a relationship they wish would be/could’ve been different, better, or more, or grieve the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations for the relationship – these things cause dis-ease in our hearts. It’s often, not until it’s one loss too many when we realize we’re not okay. And, you know what, that’s okay. The sad, angry, conflicting feelings all have value. Those feelings are your indicator that there is healing that needs to be done. And, when you’re ready…you know where to find me.
P.S. On June 30th, 2020, my podcast Grieving Voices launched! So far, I’ve shared eight educational episodes, and very soon, I will be sharing conversations with other grievers. Be a fly on the wall of our conversation, as grievers give voice to their losses, what they wish would have been there for them, how they wish others would have responded or said – all with the goal of educating all of us on how to better support grievers. And, in doing so, bring normalcy to what we experience in grief. It’s time we talk about grief like we talk about the weather!
P.P.S. Monday, August 31st is National Overdose Awareness Day. If you, or someone you know, is struggling with substance abuse, check out the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website. Their National Helpline Number is: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
*Portions of this post are adapted from The Grief Recovery Institute Blog
