Educational, Growth, Mind/Body Wellness, Resources |
Three Tips for Happiness
Happiness is different for everyone. For some people, it will be at peace with who they are. For others, it can be all about having a group of friends or family that are there for you unconditionally. Or, happiness might be having your dreams come true and having the freedom to act as you please.
No matter how you see being happy, being more satisfied with your life is something that isn’t too far out of reach. The habits that you have can help you to get there. You don’t have to look too far to see how habits create success. There is a reason why the military builds regiments into everything they set out to do. From being up at the butt-crack of dawn for exercise, ensuring work environments are free of clutter, to have processes and procedures for everything – all of these things build the foundation and structure to getting stuff done. I owe a lot of strengths I have to what I learned, not only in the military but about myself in the process of serving (particularly, what I’m capable of).
Structures, systems, ways of BE-ing, and the habits that create the structure which become your foundation of success, ultimately lead to personal happiness. When we feel like we are accomplishing something, we feel great about that. Tracking your progress and paying attention to how far you’ve come is also important to keep the momentum going.
The habits that you have do make a difference in your life. Bad habits can be hard to break, but good habits can be ingrained into your life quite deeply. So with all of that in mind, there are some things that you can do to establish some healthy habits in your life and get you to where you want to be. If things aren’t working for you and you no longer need them in your life, then it is important to find what does and doesn’t work for you. And, start by being brutally honest with yourself. I knew alcohol use wasn’t working for me, so I quit drinking (cold turkey) for over 160 days. I lost my streak by making a conscious choice, and if/when I have a drink now, it is not without consciously choosing and bringing a whole lot more awareness around it as well. When I drink now, I am in the driver’s seat of the drinking experience rather than feeling like it has a hold on me or I am out of control (emotionally/physically). I bring conscious awareness to drinking now that did not exist before.
Think about your daily life. What are the things that you tend to do mindlessly? Do you resort to patterns or behaviors without really thinking about what it is you’re actually doing? Start there to look for ways to bring more conscious awareness and intention (which is so important) to what you’re doing by asking yourself why you’re doing it.
Back to the practicalities…
Movement
The exercise that you do isn’t just for your body. Having regular exercise helps reduce how stressed you are feeling and can help improve symptoms of things like anxiety. As wonderful as exercise can be for helping us to manage our anxiety, sometimes it isn’t enough. If your anxiety becomes too much, you may need to consider anxiety therapy to help you through the day. If it is impacting your day-to-day life, this can be a cause for concern. You may find that some support, along with exercise, can help to lift your worries and make them more manageable. Exercise can ease depression and give you a happiness boost but, to see the long-term effects, consistency is key. You will see yourself overcoming things and getting fitter, which boosts your confidence, too. You don’t have to become a marathon runner or bodybuilder to see the benefit of exercise, unless you want to, of course. Moving your body for at least half an hour each day can make a difference. However, if you don’t have thirty minutes every day, every day that you do something builds on the day before it – progress and commitment compounds. Just as our avoidance of doing healthy things ultimately contributes to the decline and demise of our mind, body, and spirit, the positive habits we build into our lives contribute to our healing. The pendulum can swing either way, and we have a choice in which way it goes – always.
Be Honest
For habits to take form and become a part of your life, you have to be honest with yourself, again, about what is and isn’t working. And, sharing honestly with others helps to build an accountability piece that would not be there if you didn’t share your goals with others.
Being positive and generally having a sunnier outlook on life can help you feel positive and happier in life; as a rule, it is a good thing to follow. However, some bad things can happen, and these happen to anyone at any time. If you get bad news or do something wrong, don’t force yourself to be happy. It would help if you were honest about those unhappy moments. Please don’t dwell on them, but do something about it, whether making a change to avoid it happening again or finding a strategy to get you out of a negative funk. It is no one else’s responsibility but your own to shift your headspace. Sure, others can support you in your honesty about what is happening and support you in your quest to turn the page. However, the walk of actually doing it is all on you.
When you’re done being honest with yourself, then next comes the action piece. Some small actions could be walking outdoors, meeting with a caring friend, using something supportive like pure CBD oil, try a guided meditation (especially if you’re new to meditation, guided can be more helpful), or cooking yourself a healthy meal. You can’t be happy all the time, but it is a good idea to feel your feelings and not fake being happy.
Intentional Planning
If you feel busy, stressed, and overwhelmed, it could be because you have not planned anything out. It is a good idea to sit down at the start of each week and note what is going on or what tasks need to be done during the upcoming week. Having a rough idea of what you are doing and when will help you block out time, plan your time well, and make you feel happier as you will ticking things off and getting things achieved.
Every Sunday evening, I fill in the week ahead. I only worry about the week in front of me. And daily, I am only concerned with that day. Before I go to bed, I finish the day with my gratitude journal, and I look ahead to the next day and brain dump anything that’s on my mind, so I’m not bringing it to my subconscious mind where it will negatively impact my sleep.
These days, my daily habits are getting up around 5:45 AM, scrape my tongue (the best feeling first thing in the morning 🙃), grab a cup of coffee, head to my office, and meditate for at least 15 minutes, write in my gratitude journal and then get some movement in (which varies between a power walk, yoga, or a strength exercise). This all takes me to about 7 AM and, I have started my day for ME. Let me add, it took me a long time (a really long time and lots of trial and error) to find a flow that felt good for me (including exercise). I am so led by how I feel that following an exercise program with little variation would lead me to boredom real quick, so I ended up doing nothing. I was finding it hard to stick with anything. However, walking allows me time to fill my brain with inspiration and good vibes via podcasts (a good reason for doing it for me). For other forms of movement, I have found apps like FitOn work well for me because, with all of the options, I can go with the flow of how I’m feeling or what I’m in the mood to do.
There is no magic bullet for happiness; we all know this. However, we can chase feeling depressed, or we can chase feeling good. Start your day for yourself. Turn off the news. Turn off your phone every once in a while. Get tapped into what you’re feeling. If it’s anything less than happy, reach for the next best feeling, and keep reaching for the next best feeling until you feel inner peace. To me, inner peace is the ultimate happiness.
What does it mean to be happy to you? I invite you to share in the comments below? Start there and work your way backward, incorporating healthy elements into your life that feel good for you and that will contribute to that mission.
Educational, Energy, Grief Tips, Living Unleashed, Mind/Body Wellness, Resources |
The Grief of Being Out of Alignment
Have you ever thought about how your body responds when you’re doing something you’d rather not do? When you say “yes” to something you wish you had said “no” to?
When you find the courage to say “no” to something or someone, do you feel guilt or shame if the other person responds to your “no” in an unkind way – when they don’t respect or honor your “no?”
Or, do you say “yes” because you’re a people-pleaser? Do you want to see everyone around you happy and don’t want to be the reason someone is angry, upset, or disappointed in you? Even if that means you are going against the grain of what your heart (and energetic body) wants you to do?
On the flip side of all of this, have you thought about what you feel when someone tells you “no? Are you honoring and respecting the “no’s” given to you?
Whether you are asked to change seats on a flight, take on more responsibilities at work, or join a committee, if it’s not feeling like a “heck yes,” there are two ways to approach your response that will serve you.
- Make a “yes” okay with you.
- Say “no,” which is a complete sentence. Period.
I have taken the first approach many times. I have said “yes” to things with good intentions and because I really wanted to, but then found out the “yes” wasn’t what I thought it would be. Have you found yourself in that situation? You feel like something will be no big deal, and then you realize the experience becomes quite the opposite. You do still have choices in that scenario. You can either find a way out of the situation and respectfully bow out or change how you feel about it. You may have to do some internal digging, but it is possible to make an unpleasant experience pleasant simply by shifting your perspective (making the “yes” okay with you).
I feel like I’ve become a master at that one. Most of my life has felt like test after test for learning how to shift my perspective (and energy) around how I feel about certain things. You may recognize these people (like me) when they say: “Well, at least…XXX.” I have always tried to think about a scenario or someone else who “has it worse” than I do. Especially in my younger years, I was also trying to minimize my own experience, which is also a common thing many grievers will do.
What does all of this have to do with grief?
Everything.
What Happens When You’re Out of Alignment
Grief is sneaky in this way. It’s like a spider finding a crevice and creating this masterful web that seems to attract, not lunch, but rather scenarios that will continue to test and challenge you. It just seems to take us so damn long to get the memo. Meanwhile, all of these scenarios and experiences stack up. And, if you’re not committing to experiences or people that are in alignment with the energy you want to be in, then it’s easy to see how this kind of grief, of not honoring yourself, is self-inflicted.
What you may begin to experience, then, are anxiety attacks (or ever-present low-level anxiety), headaches, canker/cold sores, bowel issues, rashes, frequent colds/viral infections, body aches/pains, unexplained fatigue, adrenal fatigue, feelings of burnout, etc.
When this self-inflicted grief goes on long enough, you will eventually find yourself feeling like a victim – to life and, if it goes on long enough – your body. And, all because you are not honoring your needs and desires – of what would feel to be in alignment with who you are and who you desire to be.
More than two years ago, I would not have recognized the signs and signals my body would give me. I would not be aware of my energetic body response, and I definitely wouldn’t have paused long enough to tune into either of these things. Today, however, it’s a very different story.
Our body is always speaking to us. We only need to tune out and tune our antenna inward to know what we need to do. Then, follow that inner wisdom with action that aligns with our heart, mind, and spirit.
The day you can do this is the day that grief’s grip starts to loosen.
Love +light to you today. Thank you for reading. If this message speaks to you today, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Reach out to me on Instagram / FB or email me at victoria@theunleashedheart [dot] com 💛
P.S. I recently launched a FREE Energy Type Quiz! If you want to dive deeper into understanding your energy type and learn some tips, too, click HERE to get started! There’s a free guide to download as well!
Educational, Grief, Grief Tips, Growth, Living Unleashed, Pespective, Resources |
Healing & Moving On Isn’t Forgetting
In a recent podcast interview, the guest, a fellow Grief Recovery Specialist and Parent Educator, used the phrase “living forward” instead of “moving on.” I like that; I think it speaks to the positive more than simply saying “moving on.”
The thing about moving on or living forward is neither is about forgetting, condoning, or minimizing.
Things to Keep in Mind for the Griever You Know
After the loss of a loved one, well-meaning people say things with the hope of encouraging or motivate action for the griever not to dwell. However, what this may cause the griever to do, instead, is to brush aside their grief, minimize what they’re feeling, and do their best to put on a brave face. None of these actions are likely authentic to how they’re feeling and, in turn, only cause more harm and delay healing.
What would be more positive and helpful is if the griever were allowed the time and space to feel how they feel, at the moment they feel it. Anything less is a disservice to themselves, and frankly, anyone else they’re in close relationships with – especially children if the griever is a parent.
What would also be helpful is reiterating to the griever exactly what this post is about; moving on and living forward and working towards healing doesn’t mean the sadness will end. There will always be an empty seat at the table or the relationship that never was quite what they hoped it would be. And, that’s okay. But, as a supporter of a griever, or as a griever reading this, it’s allowing that to be okay, too.
Things to Keep in Mind as a Griever
If you’re reading this through the lens of a griever, I would like to dig more deeply into this idea that moving on (or living forward) means that you’re somehow abandoning that relationship in your heart or betraying the dearly departed in some way. That couldn’t be further from the truth. What would be more hurtful to your loved one is watching you continue to suffer in your sadness.
There are many reasons why grievers suffer in silence. Many reasons are pretty general and similar across the board, including this idea that you have to be strong. No one wants to be looked at like they’re a trainwreck. Rather, it’s far better to look at the role of someone who has their grief game put together, right? You’re not fooling someone like me who is empathic and not only trained in grief but grew up with it being a part of me. I can smell suffering a mile away. Truth be told, I don’t smell it, I feel it, but you get the idea. Your body speaks to me before you even say a word. Sometimes, I can sense what people are struggling with, too. Anyway, I talked about the Myths of Grief on my podcast, which can also be found on my blog. These myths are pretty universal. If you read that article or listen to that podcast episode, you may see yourself in the descriptions of how you’ve responded to life while grieving.
Living Forward
What I would share with you today is that living forward, in other words taking action, is the best thing you can do for yourself today, tomorrow, and for the you that will be reflected in the mirror ten years from now.
Who do you want to be looking back at you?
Do you want to see the grief-stricken, wrung-out from life, beaten down you that you may be feeling like today?
Or, do you want to see yourself as a Phoneix that had risen from the ashes, emotionally stronger than ever before, resilient in your heart, and overcome with gratitude that you found exactly what you needed when you needed it and turned your life around?
How could you possibly forget your loved one?
How could you condone the behavior of someone who hurt you?
You can’t, and you won’t. However, you can take steps forward that enable you to remember your loved one with joy. There may be sadness, too, but it won’t be debilitating or derailing sadness.
And, you can live forward, rewriting your future script that doesn’t include the trauma or the pain of what was done against you that hurt you. Or, the relationship won’t continue to have the same effect on you, acting as the driver in your life, dictating and influencing every future decision you make. Even if we end a relationship with someone living, don’t be fooled to believe that the relationship ends. If you have anything left emotionally incomplete, that relationship is continuing whether you like to admit it or not. And, even if you do work through it, there will always be things that come up within less than loving relationships or estranged relationships that require attention. It’s how you will choose to address those things that will either impede your growth or aid you in your evolution.
My hope is that after reading this blog post, you recognize that honoring your future by taking action today is how you honor your loved one, too. For those less than loving or estranged relationships, it’s how you honor your present and future.
What small action can you take today that will help you live forward?
To taking action! 💛
Death/Dying, Educational, Grief, Grief Tips, Pespective, Resources |
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky from Pexels
What to Expect When Grieving Someone
If you have lost someone you love, you know what a difficult process navigating grief can be. You may feel as though you are in a dark place and that things will never get better. This is not the case at all; in fact, it’s more than possible that things will become easier, and there is certainly a light at the end of the tunnel. If you want to know what’s normal in the grieving process, read on to learn more.
Trying Not to Face the Pain
If you are grieving for someone, then you may try and avoid experiencing the pain that comes with your loss. You may try and ignore it or feel the need to move on as fast as possible. This is normal, but you have to understand that if you try and keep it from surfacing, this will only create more suffering in the long run. If you want to heal truly, you need to face your grief, and you need to actively deal with it as much as you can. As a society, it’s ingrained in us, since the time we were babies, to not cry. We are shushed from the day we are born if you think about it! So, whether we are in physical or emotional pain, the truth of the matter is: we need our tears. Tears are a natural bodily function of release.
On the flip side, many people think that if you do not cry, you are not sorry about the loss that you have experienced. Crying is a normal way for you to respond to sadness, but it is not the only way. It would be best not to avoid crying, but not feeling like you need to cry is also very normal. Just because you are not shedding tears like everyone else doesn’t mean that you are not taking the loss as hard. For some, the tears may not come for several weeks, months, or even years. Grief is funny like that; it’s often cumulative losses that build up in the soul that eventually cause a flood of emotion. And, if the grief isn’t expressed with tears, I would guarantee the grief is manifesting in many other ways.
In the early days after a loss, when you’re busy looking up information about cemetery grave markers, choosing a casket, and making all of the necessary arrangements, it’s normal to be in reactionary mode, not really being able to process the loss that occurred. Often, it’s after the funeral, when the guests have all left, and life settles back to normal for everyone else, where reality sets in – as does the pain.
Replacing the Loss
We are taught how to acquire things (or people), not what to do when we lose them. When we lose someone, something, or a pet, in time, we often find ourselves attempting to replace the loss. We so badly want to fill the void that the loss caused. Rather than addressing the pain associated with the loss instead, we have this belief that by having someone, something, or another pet to direct our love and attention to that we’ll feel better. And, we might – for a time. However, if we accepted that no one or thing we love so dearly could ever be replaced, we would be forced to deal with the pain, wouldn’t we? Because once we know this to be true, we can’t un-know it. It’s normal and natural with loss, but it certainly is far from helpful for our recovery.
Isolation
I’m hard-wired for isolation; it’s truly a tendency to retreat when I’m feeling anxious, depressed, irritable, or overwhelmed by life. What I know about myself is that I do need time to be alone and reflect. I need to sit and stew in my emotions while I process them. I’m not a candidate for “talk therapy” for this reason, as many reading this can probably relate to. I’m also empathic, easily taking on other people’s energy and emotions, which makes it doubly hard when dealing with my own “stuff.” Also, when I attempted to speak up in the past, and the conversation became about the other person, it only reinforced the tendency to isolate myself in my grief.
Healthy isolation isn’t a problem if the intention is, as I mentioned, for time to reflect and process. However, if you find yourself isolating and drinking, and isolating and cutting, or isolating and watching porn/online shopping/Netflix-binging incessantly, then you may have an isolation issue. If you find yourself saying “No” to outings and invitations from friends or loved ones on a continual ongoing basis, you’re probably isolating yourself. And, if you aren’t talking to anyone about anything you’re experiencing, you’re probably working extra hard at isolating yourself.
Isolation adds to the gunk you’re already feeling. Because not allowing your pain to be seen or heard only makes you feel more alone. We do not heal on an island of one; we heal in community.
Attempting to Stay Strong
You may also feel the need to be strong for others if you have experienced loss. Feeling scared, frightened, or even lonely can be a normal reaction if you have lost someone. You have to remember that crying doesn’t mean that you are weak. You don’t need to protect your family and friends by trying to put on a brave front. In fact, showing the way that you truly feel can help both them and you. Often, it takes someone to go first in sharing for others to feel as though it’s also safe and okay for them to share, too. Therefore, allowing your vulnerability to show will likely have an impact on those around you. Sure, there may be those who would prefer it if you would keep your mouth shut. However, as I mentioned, that is only causing more harm in the long run. Permit yourself to feel how you feel and express what you need to express. Grief shared is grief diminished. And, especially when a loss leaves children behind, I speak from experience when I say that having open and honest communication about death, dying, and grief can change how children process their grief well into adulthood. Avoiding those conversations with children while they’re young is a great disservice to their emotional health later in life. By shushing a child from expressing their grief and sadness only causes more harm. And, no one has to die for a child to experience grief. Whatever struggle a child is having, if they don’t feel like they have a safe space to talk, they will isolate just as many adults do. Isolating adults were once isolating children.
Keeping Busy
“Just take up a hobby,” someone may say to a griever (thinking this is helpful advice). Or, “I’m keeping myself busy by working overtime,” a griever may say.
Keeping busy doesn’t change what happened. Keeping busy doesn’t erase the feelings stuck within you either. And, keeping busy only helps pass the time, which only passes, too, by the way.
Keeping busy does nothing for healing and moving forward. You may think you’re doing great while you pour yourself into your work or jump headfirst from one hobby to the next. But all you’re really doing is preoccupying your mind from getting too quiet so you can hear your heart. It’s painful there, in your heart, feeling all the feels. I know this to be true like every other griever out there.
Getting quiet is the fastest way to getting beyond the stuck feelings, though. It’s the path of most resistance but reaps the greatest rewards when confronted in a guided, supported, self-serving and loving way.
You’re already busy going, going, going…you may as well be going in a positive direction, taking action for positive change rather than doing all the things in an attempt to avoid. Be like the buffalo that heads directly into the eye of the storm; they don’t run from or skirt around. No, they go straight through. That’s what it takes to get beyond the pain, too.
Feeling like the Grief Won’t End
It’s very normal for you to feel as though the grief you are experiencing is never-ending. You may also feel as though you should be “over it” by now. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you have been grieving for well over a year or ten years. There’s no set time frame on how long you should be grieving, so make sure that you understand that this is normal and put yourself first.
Time passes; it doesn’t heal our wounds. It’s the action we take within time that helps us to process, work through, and emerge on the other empowered and feeling alive. We often feel like we don’t have choices in grief. I’ve read various shares on social media about how grief makes you feel isn’t a choice. That is correct. We don’t choose to feel how grief leaves us feeling. However, we do then have to choose if we want to remain in those feelings.
We have a choice if we continue to ruminate the story of what happened, replaying all of the details over and over in our minds.
We have a choice to be taken back to those excruciating, put-you-in-the-fetal-position feelings, or if we share from a place of love and compassion without the emotional dis-ease taking us back in time over and over and over again.
We do have choices in grief, and whether we’re taking action to move forward or ruminating – either is a choice we make each day that passes after a loss of any kind.
What is your takeaway from this post today?
Can you relate to any of these normal and natural responses to grief?
Educational, Energy, Grief Tips, Mind/Body Wellness, Pespective, Reiki, Resources |
The Conflict of Self-Sacrifice and Being a Helper
As a helper, boundaries for yourself and others are important to prevent burnout. Without boundaries, knowing when to say “no,” or recognizing when enough is enough, you may find yourself filled with resentment, anger, bitterness, self-criticism, maybe even self-loathing if you are your own worst critic. You may find yourself saying things to yourself that you would never speak out loud to another person. Helpers are often the ones who put on an “I’ve got this” face and yet, on the inside, are crumbling under pressure.
Caregivers/Caretakers are especially prone to burnout. Becoming the one who everyone relies on and goes to for physical, emotional, or financial support can fill the heart with so much joy and purpose, or it can fill the helping heart with dread and the soul with angst.
Challenging Beliefs
One recommendation I have for preventing burnout as a helper is to evaluate your beliefs about helping. When I talk about helpers, I want to clarify that I refer to those whose natural inclination is to help, almost like a compulsion. Natural helpers can’t help but help. I’m not referring to those who help because they feel pressured to do so or are motivated to help because they gain something in return. I think there’s a difference, which is why it’s important to make the distinction.
Anyway, in your childhood, what leads you to believe that helping beyond your physical, emotional, or financial means is how you get your worth?
- Were you raised to believe that only those who help to the point of self-sacrifice are rewarded?
- Do you believe that, as a helper, only you can do what needs to be done? Were you put in roles where you frequently had to step up and take the reigns because, if you didn’t, the project, experience, job, the family would fall apart?
- How much of this belief are you and you alone putting on your shoulders?
- Are these high expectations you have for yourself or others have for you?
Imagine the grief you may be causing yourself not addressing this or allowing yourself to observe how you respond to others when you feel called to help! Others are not responsible for your self-sacrificing ways. The bitterness or resentment you feel is due to a lack of boundaries, self-care, and self-worth.
I have been on the receiving end of helper-burnout. As a Reiki practitioner, grief specialist, and end-of-life doula, it is up to me to maintain boundaries as a means to protect or regain my physical and emotional energy.
Addressing the Conflicting Feelings
If you address your physical and emotional needs as a helper, you will no longer have conflicting feelings about being a helper. Those feelings are an indicator that something is off, not working, or needs to change.
How to address these conflicting feelings goes back to creating and maintaining boundaries. But, if you’re not being an observer of what is happening emotionally when you find yourself in challenging situations, you won’t know where boundaries are needed.
Start with what pisses you off. What is happening when you find yourself wound up with emotion, maybe even fired up (not in a good way)?
- What is it about the situation that fills you with anger?
- When, in your childhood, did you find yourself needing to be responsible for helping others to feel better (physically or emotionally)?
- How have you put yourself second to the needs of others?
- In what ways could you balance out the desire to help and meet your own needs?
As a child, I had a lot of responsibility. It wasn’t something I chose, it was just how things were and the cards I was dealt. No experience is wasted; therefore, I can appreciate the lessons I gained during those years. However, those years also shaped my beliefs about what it looks like to be a helper, and it was at the expense of my own heart and in conflict with what my soul wanted.
We can even do this to the extent of choosing a profession that our parents wanted. I have come across this in my work with others. People go into a profession that isn’t at all aligned with their heart and soul simply to make their parents happy or proud. When really, either it’s a projection of the parents and their unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations they had for themselves, or it’s an inner-wound that leads the person to believe that, again, their self-worth comes from the approval of others.
When we put our desire for freedom, which includes emotional freedom, on the backburner, we put ourselves in shackles to the needs and desires of others. We learn that personal needs come last, lose our voice in speaking up for ourselves, and learn that our self-worth hinges on the approval of others (how much we helped them). This approval-seeking, therefore, becomes a learned behavior.
The conflicting feelings you feel right now about being a helper is grief, my friend. It’s the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations you had for yourself, your relationship with others, and your life. It’s wishing things would be, could be, or would’ve or could’ve been – different, better, or more.
Are you feeling conflicted about your strong desire to help and yet meet your needs?
Would you like me to dig more into the energetics of this? Well, you’re in luck! Today I launched a quiz that will help you learn your energy type! From it, you will learn what energizes and drains your energy, blind spots of your energy type, and what to do to turn things around or maintain (if you’re not feeling energetically challenged).
CLICK HERE TO LEARN YOUR ENERGY TYPE TODAY IN UNDER 2 MINUTES!
UPLEVEL YOUR HELPER ENERGY; YOUR HEART WILL THANK YOU!
Grief Tips, Growth, Mind/Body Wellness, Pespective, Resources |
Replay Today and Rehearse Tomorrow
There is a lot of empowerment that comes with reflecting on your day and rehearsing the day ahead. I found myself doing this regularly, only when I started using The Five Minute Journal. And, I gotta say, I’ve noticed a marked improvement in my productivity and feelings of abundance, too. It may be part psychological but, I do know that I have noticed that if I write the same thing several days in a row, it’s the motivation I need to “get ‘er done.” And, I’ve also found all the little ways I am blessed. I just feel like it’s been a great motivator for me. It’s me against me; I’m only comparing myself to the me who made an entry the day before. I do think that’s a powerful aspect of using this little book; it has the potential to be transformative. I also see it as a wonderful tool as someone is working to heal through grief.
On tough days, it can be challenging to find the littlest thing to be grateful for, and feeling the opposite of that is not empowering. I wrote a post a while back about making little changes and, this book definitely makes my list now.
Replay Today
When you reflect on the day, consider what could’ve made the day even better. Maybe you passed someone you knew whose energy seemed off, and rather than stopping to say hello and ask how they were doing, you, instead, made it seem like you were preoccupied and gave a slight wave. And, now you regret not saying hello because you sense something is wrong. Reflecting on that moment and what you could have done differently helps bring that awareness to the forefront. And perhaps, the next time you see that person, you will apologize for not following through on your gut. Not delivering that communication of regret stays within you.
Moments, such as the one described above, happen in our lives all of the time. We just give those moments very little attention. This little book helps to bring moments like that to the forefront.
Similarly, you also can reflect on what was amazing about the day – gratitude! What a great way to end the day!
Rehearse Tomorrow
A natural thing happens when you reflect on the present day; you start thinking about the next day. And, although this isn’t a step to work through in this little journal I’m talking about, I think it naturally happens, at least it does for me. I also typically plan my week ahead on Sundays. Doing this activity helps me to prepare for the week ahead mentally. I plan out what needs to get done and when. I’m not perfect at getting everything done that I set out to do, but as I mentioned, when I write these things in this little book and don’t get them done, it’s highly motivating. I don’t need to look to others to motivate me – it’s possible to find it myself, which is found through action only I can take (and you, too)!
I also believe that by rehearsing tomorrow, you can go into the day with intention. And, going about your time with intention is a way to uplevel your day (and life), too.
Applying Replay & Rehearse to Grief
Again, it comes down to awareness, intention, and action. As you go through your days, you will find a theme emerging. You will start to see where you can stand to make some changes. And, you can make some micro changes that add up to big shifts over time. And, both reflection and gratitude are tools for doing just that.
Wrapping you in love and light today and always. Thank you for reading.
