SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:
I had the privilege of sitting down with Reese Zahner, a poet, and writer who has beautifully transformed her grief journey into a powerful testament of healing and acceptance under the pen name Cleo Childs.
Reese opens up about the profound impact of losing her mother to early onset Alzheimer’s, a journey that spanned seven years from diagnosis to loss. Through her candid storytelling, Reese shares how she turned to poetry as a means to process her emotions.
We delve into the complexities of anticipatory grief and the unique challenges of witnessing a loved one gradually slip away. Reese’s honesty about her initial struggles with understanding grief and her eventual path to acceptance is both moving and inspiring. She speaks to the isolation she felt during this time and how writing became a lifeline, allowing her to express emotions she couldn’t articulate otherwise.
Her poetry, once a private refuge, has now become a beacon of hope for others navigating similar journeys. We explore the themes of presence, patience, and the lessons Reese learned along the way, emphasizing that healing is not linear but rather a continuous process.
Throughout our conversation, her warmth and resilience shine through as she reflects on the gifts her mother gave her. Whether you’re currently walking through a season of loss or supporting someone who is, her insights offer comfort and encouragement.
Join us as we explore the healing power of poetry and the profound journey of love, loss, and acceptance.
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The Unseen Journey of Grief: How Loss Transforms Us
Grief is not a single emotion. It’s not a straight path or a clear-cut process. It is a deeply personal, ever-shifting landscape that changes the way we experience the world.
For many of us, there is a moment that divides our lives into “before” and “after.” A moment when everything shifts, when the weight of loss becomes a new reality we never asked for. For Reese, that moment came with the diagnosis of her mother’s Alzheimer’s. A normal day at work transformed into a defining moment of realization: life would never be the same again.
The Journey Before and After Loss
Before loss, we may see ourselves as impatient, driven, striving for perfection, trying to be everything for everyone. But grief has a way of stripping us down to our core, revealing truths we might have ignored before. In Reese words, she learned patience not just with the disease but with herself. She learned presence over perfection, compassion over control. And in the depths of loss, she found wisdom—hard-earned and unwanted, yet impossible to give up.
A Wedding and a Final Moment of Recognition
One of the most profound moments Reese shared was the last time her mother truly recognized her. On her wedding day, Reese planned every detail to ensure her mother was comfortable, knowing that recognition was slipping away. In that moment, her mother saw her, truly saw her, and uttered the words Cleo now treasures: “You’re in a pretty dress, and I’m in a pretty dress. This is the way it’s supposed to be.”
That moment, frozen in time, was a gift—one that would soon fade but remain forever in memory.
Grief and Isolation: The Transformation of Self
Grief is often misunderstood. It is not just sadness; it is not just depression. It is a spectrum of emotions—some days gray and heavy, some days sharp and colorful. It is the feeling of being disconnected, of carrying an emotional weight that few know how to hold with you.
Reese describes how she, a self-proclaimed extrovert, found herself withdrawing into solitude after her mother’s passing. The need to conserve energy, to protect her heart, became paramount. Over time, this isolation was not just about surviving—it was about rebuilding. She learned to be selective with her relationships, to choose people who truly held space for her rather than those who asked, “How are you?” without really wanting to know.
The Hard-Won Wisdom of Loss
One of the hardest lessons of grief is the realization that suffering changes us. It molds us into someone new—more patient, more empathetic, more intentional. Cleo acknowledges this transformation with a bittersweet truth: “I am a better person because I lost her, and I resent that I had to lose her to become that person.”
It is a sentiment many of us feel but rarely say out loud. The wisdom we gain from suffering is invaluable, but the cost is steep. And yet, there is strength in that acknowledgment. There is power in knowing that grief, though painful, has the capacity to shape us into someone wiser, more compassionate, and more present.
The Universality of Grief
At its core, grief is one of the most human experiences. It is what connects us to one another, what turns “disparate sailors into unified crewmen,” as Cleo poetically describes. It is an unspoken bond between those who have walked through loss and those who will one day face it.
So, if you are grieving, know this: You are not alone. Your emotions, however unpredictable, are valid. And while grief may never fully disappear, it can evolve into something that gives life new meaning.
Reese journey teaches us that grief is not just about surviving—it’s about learning how to live again, with all the complexity, beauty, and heartbreak that comes with it.
And perhaps, in sharing our stories, we help each other take one small step forward in the journey of loss and healing.