Educational, Growth, Mind/Body Wellness, Resources |
Three Tips for Happiness
Happiness is different for everyone. For some people, it will be at peace with who they are. For others, it can be all about having a group of friends or family that are there for you unconditionally. Or, happiness might be having your dreams come true and having the freedom to act as you please.
No matter how you see being happy, being more satisfied with your life is something that isn’t too far out of reach. The habits that you have can help you to get there. You don’t have to look too far to see how habits create success. There is a reason why the military builds regiments into everything they set out to do. From being up at the butt-crack of dawn for exercise, ensuring work environments are free of clutter, to have processes and procedures for everything – all of these things build the foundation and structure to getting stuff done. I owe a lot of strengths I have to what I learned, not only in the military but about myself in the process of serving (particularly, what I’m capable of).
Structures, systems, ways of BE-ing, and the habits that create the structure which become your foundation of success, ultimately lead to personal happiness. When we feel like we are accomplishing something, we feel great about that. Tracking your progress and paying attention to how far you’ve come is also important to keep the momentum going.
The habits that you have do make a difference in your life. Bad habits can be hard to break, but good habits can be ingrained into your life quite deeply. So with all of that in mind, there are some things that you can do to establish some healthy habits in your life and get you to where you want to be. If things aren’t working for you and you no longer need them in your life, then it is important to find what does and doesn’t work for you. And, start by being brutally honest with yourself. I knew alcohol use wasn’t working for me, so I quit drinking (cold turkey) for over 160 days. I lost my streak by making a conscious choice, and if/when I have a drink now, it is not without consciously choosing and bringing a whole lot more awareness around it as well. When I drink now, I am in the driver’s seat of the drinking experience rather than feeling like it has a hold on me or I am out of control (emotionally/physically). I bring conscious awareness to drinking now that did not exist before.
Think about your daily life. What are the things that you tend to do mindlessly? Do you resort to patterns or behaviors without really thinking about what it is you’re actually doing? Start there to look for ways to bring more conscious awareness and intention (which is so important) to what you’re doing by asking yourself why you’re doing it.
Back to the practicalities…
Movement
The exercise that you do isn’t just for your body. Having regular exercise helps reduce how stressed you are feeling and can help improve symptoms of things like anxiety. As wonderful as exercise can be for helping us to manage our anxiety, sometimes it isn’t enough. If your anxiety becomes too much, you may need to consider anxiety therapy to help you through the day. If it is impacting your day-to-day life, this can be a cause for concern. You may find that some support, along with exercise, can help to lift your worries and make them more manageable. Exercise can ease depression and give you a happiness boost but, to see the long-term effects, consistency is key. You will see yourself overcoming things and getting fitter, which boosts your confidence, too. You don’t have to become a marathon runner or bodybuilder to see the benefit of exercise, unless you want to, of course. Moving your body for at least half an hour each day can make a difference. However, if you don’t have thirty minutes every day, every day that you do something builds on the day before it – progress and commitment compounds. Just as our avoidance of doing healthy things ultimately contributes to the decline and demise of our mind, body, and spirit, the positive habits we build into our lives contribute to our healing. The pendulum can swing either way, and we have a choice in which way it goes – always.
Be Honest
For habits to take form and become a part of your life, you have to be honest with yourself, again, about what is and isn’t working. And, sharing honestly with others helps to build an accountability piece that would not be there if you didn’t share your goals with others.
Being positive and generally having a sunnier outlook on life can help you feel positive and happier in life; as a rule, it is a good thing to follow. However, some bad things can happen, and these happen to anyone at any time. If you get bad news or do something wrong, don’t force yourself to be happy. It would help if you were honest about those unhappy moments. Please don’t dwell on them, but do something about it, whether making a change to avoid it happening again or finding a strategy to get you out of a negative funk. It is no one else’s responsibility but your own to shift your headspace. Sure, others can support you in your honesty about what is happening and support you in your quest to turn the page. However, the walk of actually doing it is all on you.
When you’re done being honest with yourself, then next comes the action piece. Some small actions could be walking outdoors, meeting with a caring friend, using something supportive like pure CBD oil, try a guided meditation (especially if you’re new to meditation, guided can be more helpful), or cooking yourself a healthy meal. You can’t be happy all the time, but it is a good idea to feel your feelings and not fake being happy.
Intentional Planning
If you feel busy, stressed, and overwhelmed, it could be because you have not planned anything out. It is a good idea to sit down at the start of each week and note what is going on or what tasks need to be done during the upcoming week. Having a rough idea of what you are doing and when will help you block out time, plan your time well, and make you feel happier as you will ticking things off and getting things achieved.
Every Sunday evening, I fill in the week ahead. I only worry about the week in front of me. And daily, I am only concerned with that day. Before I go to bed, I finish the day with my gratitude journal, and I look ahead to the next day and brain dump anything that’s on my mind, so I’m not bringing it to my subconscious mind where it will negatively impact my sleep.
These days, my daily habits are getting up around 5:45 AM, scrape my tongue (the best feeling first thing in the morning 🙃), grab a cup of coffee, head to my office, and meditate for at least 15 minutes, write in my gratitude journal and then get some movement in (which varies between a power walk, yoga, or a strength exercise). This all takes me to about 7 AM and, I have started my day for ME. Let me add, it took me a long time (a really long time and lots of trial and error) to find a flow that felt good for me (including exercise). I am so led by how I feel that following an exercise program with little variation would lead me to boredom real quick, so I ended up doing nothing. I was finding it hard to stick with anything. However, walking allows me time to fill my brain with inspiration and good vibes via podcasts (a good reason for doing it for me). For other forms of movement, I have found apps like FitOn work well for me because, with all of the options, I can go with the flow of how I’m feeling or what I’m in the mood to do.
There is no magic bullet for happiness; we all know this. However, we can chase feeling depressed, or we can chase feeling good. Start your day for yourself. Turn off the news. Turn off your phone every once in a while. Get tapped into what you’re feeling. If it’s anything less than happy, reach for the next best feeling, and keep reaching for the next best feeling until you feel inner peace. To me, inner peace is the ultimate happiness.
What does it mean to be happy to you? I invite you to share in the comments below? Start there and work your way backward, incorporating healthy elements into your life that feel good for you and that will contribute to that mission.
Educational, Grief, Grief Tips, Growth, Living Unleashed, Pespective, Resources |
Healing & Moving On Isn’t Forgetting
In a recent podcast interview, the guest, a fellow Grief Recovery Specialist and Parent Educator, used the phrase “living forward” instead of “moving on.” I like that; I think it speaks to the positive more than simply saying “moving on.”
The thing about moving on or living forward is neither is about forgetting, condoning, or minimizing.
Things to Keep in Mind for the Griever You Know
After the loss of a loved one, well-meaning people say things with the hope of encouraging or motivate action for the griever not to dwell. However, what this may cause the griever to do, instead, is to brush aside their grief, minimize what they’re feeling, and do their best to put on a brave face. None of these actions are likely authentic to how they’re feeling and, in turn, only cause more harm and delay healing.
What would be more positive and helpful is if the griever were allowed the time and space to feel how they feel, at the moment they feel it. Anything less is a disservice to themselves, and frankly, anyone else they’re in close relationships with – especially children if the griever is a parent.
What would also be helpful is reiterating to the griever exactly what this post is about; moving on and living forward and working towards healing doesn’t mean the sadness will end. There will always be an empty seat at the table or the relationship that never was quite what they hoped it would be. And, that’s okay. But, as a supporter of a griever, or as a griever reading this, it’s allowing that to be okay, too.
Things to Keep in Mind as a Griever
If you’re reading this through the lens of a griever, I would like to dig more deeply into this idea that moving on (or living forward) means that you’re somehow abandoning that relationship in your heart or betraying the dearly departed in some way. That couldn’t be further from the truth. What would be more hurtful to your loved one is watching you continue to suffer in your sadness.
There are many reasons why grievers suffer in silence. Many reasons are pretty general and similar across the board, including this idea that you have to be strong. No one wants to be looked at like they’re a trainwreck. Rather, it’s far better to look at the role of someone who has their grief game put together, right? You’re not fooling someone like me who is empathic and not only trained in grief but grew up with it being a part of me. I can smell suffering a mile away. Truth be told, I don’t smell it, I feel it, but you get the idea. Your body speaks to me before you even say a word. Sometimes, I can sense what people are struggling with, too. Anyway, I talked about the Myths of Grief on my podcast, which can also be found on my blog. These myths are pretty universal. If you read that article or listen to that podcast episode, you may see yourself in the descriptions of how you’ve responded to life while grieving.
Living Forward
What I would share with you today is that living forward, in other words taking action, is the best thing you can do for yourself today, tomorrow, and for the you that will be reflected in the mirror ten years from now.
Who do you want to be looking back at you?
Do you want to see the grief-stricken, wrung-out from life, beaten down you that you may be feeling like today?
Or, do you want to see yourself as a Phoneix that had risen from the ashes, emotionally stronger than ever before, resilient in your heart, and overcome with gratitude that you found exactly what you needed when you needed it and turned your life around?
How could you possibly forget your loved one?
How could you condone the behavior of someone who hurt you?
You can’t, and you won’t. However, you can take steps forward that enable you to remember your loved one with joy. There may be sadness, too, but it won’t be debilitating or derailing sadness.
And, you can live forward, rewriting your future script that doesn’t include the trauma or the pain of what was done against you that hurt you. Or, the relationship won’t continue to have the same effect on you, acting as the driver in your life, dictating and influencing every future decision you make. Even if we end a relationship with someone living, don’t be fooled to believe that the relationship ends. If you have anything left emotionally incomplete, that relationship is continuing whether you like to admit it or not. And, even if you do work through it, there will always be things that come up within less than loving relationships or estranged relationships that require attention. It’s how you will choose to address those things that will either impede your growth or aid you in your evolution.
My hope is that after reading this blog post, you recognize that honoring your future by taking action today is how you honor your loved one, too. For those less than loving or estranged relationships, it’s how you honor your present and future.
What small action can you take today that will help you live forward?
To taking action! 💛
Grief, Grief Tips, Growth, Living Unleashed, Mind/Body Wellness |
Uncomfortable Conversations
How many conversations have you avoided because you were afraid to rock the boat, appear to be too emotional or analytical, or downright scared to expose your heart?
Sharing your heart with others through uncomfortable conversations is a lot like being back in a middle school locker room. Just as your personal body is open to criticism, analysis, and judgment from others, so is the heart when your deepest feelings are shared in uncomfortable conversations.
An uncomfortable conversation can be speaking up for yourself for the first time about what you need, from a relationship to telling your parents you’re not pursuing a career they had their sights on for you since the time you were walking. Or, it can be coming out as gay for the first time or any other secret that’s leaving you feeling emotionally twisted in your gut when attempting to shield yourself from the truth of what you’re so afraid to share.
We are confronted with a choice to dive into uncomfortable conversations more times than we probably realize. Still, the decision to not “go there” is often made in a split-second thought that we quickly put that decision out of our minds. That being said, the restlessness we feel about the need to express ourselves emotionally doesn’t go away. Instead, by denying ourselves a release by lifting the weight of what feels like a secret or even conflicting feelings, you are only hurting yourself.
Sometimes, the suffering we cause ourselves by not unburdening our hearts is worse than the act or after-effects of sharing our heart’s truth.
Granted, there is a time and place for sharing. There is also a tactful and thoughtful way to express ourselves too. Information is far better received when we stick to how we feel rather than what we perceive as facts. Because our perceptions are all different, I can look at an image and see something completely different than the person next to me because we all perceive the world around us differently; filtering the world through the five senses of our personal experiences. I experienced this full-on in my Reiki Master certification, the same process as everyone else, but no two experiences of attunements and ignitions were the same.
If there is a difficult conversation, here are a few questions to ask yourself first:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
We can sometimes make mountains out of molehills, so asking yourself these questions first may actually spare you further suffering. And, by necessity, I like to think of it, not as your feelings are not valid; rather, five years from now, will it matter? This comes back to possibly making a mountain out of a molehill.
May I Suggest…
If, after asking yourself the three questions above, you still feel that what you need to share needs to be said out loud (rather than working through how your experience may be a projection of your inner world), then it may be worth role-playing out loud. Create a checklist of the main points you want to express, then role-play in the mirror, saying the very things you need to say to the other person. After doing this exercise, you may even find that you feel better, and the situation seems to resolve itself, almost like magic. And, if it’s a situation that is complex or devastating, this will still be helpful. I suggest this to get clear and experience the emotions behind the words. When you go to have the conversation, you’re better able to focus on what needs to be said and not derail the opportunity to fully express yourself because you’re emotionally charged. Discharge some of that emotion first, so you can clearly articulate and express how you feel.
Grief recovery has helped me in unexpected ways, recognize the importance of addressing my emotions first before endeavoring into uncomfortable (and difficult) conversations. And, there have been more times than I can count, that after taking some time to step back and observe what’s going in within me, that I’ve been able to address the conflict in myself that was being reflected in the relationship with the other person.
Self-awareness: it’s a beautiful thing. 💛
Grief Tips, Growth, Mind/Body Wellness, Pespective, Resources |
Replay Today and Rehearse Tomorrow
There is a lot of empowerment that comes with reflecting on your day and rehearsing the day ahead. I found myself doing this regularly, only when I started using The Five Minute Journal. And, I gotta say, I’ve noticed a marked improvement in my productivity and feelings of abundance, too. It may be part psychological but, I do know that I have noticed that if I write the same thing several days in a row, it’s the motivation I need to “get ‘er done.” And, I’ve also found all the little ways I am blessed. I just feel like it’s been a great motivator for me. It’s me against me; I’m only comparing myself to the me who made an entry the day before. I do think that’s a powerful aspect of using this little book; it has the potential to be transformative. I also see it as a wonderful tool as someone is working to heal through grief.
On tough days, it can be challenging to find the littlest thing to be grateful for, and feeling the opposite of that is not empowering. I wrote a post a while back about making little changes and, this book definitely makes my list now.
Replay Today
When you reflect on the day, consider what could’ve made the day even better. Maybe you passed someone you knew whose energy seemed off, and rather than stopping to say hello and ask how they were doing, you, instead, made it seem like you were preoccupied and gave a slight wave. And, now you regret not saying hello because you sense something is wrong. Reflecting on that moment and what you could have done differently helps bring that awareness to the forefront. And perhaps, the next time you see that person, you will apologize for not following through on your gut. Not delivering that communication of regret stays within you.
Moments, such as the one described above, happen in our lives all of the time. We just give those moments very little attention. This little book helps to bring moments like that to the forefront.
Similarly, you also can reflect on what was amazing about the day – gratitude! What a great way to end the day!
Rehearse Tomorrow
A natural thing happens when you reflect on the present day; you start thinking about the next day. And, although this isn’t a step to work through in this little journal I’m talking about, I think it naturally happens, at least it does for me. I also typically plan my week ahead on Sundays. Doing this activity helps me to prepare for the week ahead mentally. I plan out what needs to get done and when. I’m not perfect at getting everything done that I set out to do, but as I mentioned, when I write these things in this little book and don’t get them done, it’s highly motivating. I don’t need to look to others to motivate me – it’s possible to find it myself, which is found through action only I can take (and you, too)!
I also believe that by rehearsing tomorrow, you can go into the day with intention. And, going about your time with intention is a way to uplevel your day (and life), too.
Applying Replay & Rehearse to Grief
Again, it comes down to awareness, intention, and action. As you go through your days, you will find a theme emerging. You will start to see where you can stand to make some changes. And, you can make some micro changes that add up to big shifts over time. And, both reflection and gratitude are tools for doing just that.
Wrapping you in love and light today and always. Thank you for reading.
Childhood Grief, Grief, Grief Stories, Grieving Voices Podcast, Growth, Mind/Body Wellness, Pespective, Resources, Spirituality |
How Do You Know When You’re Healing?
Once upon a time, 2016’ish, to be more precise, I thought I was doing pretty well emotionally. I had officially closed my boutique photography studio, started a blog, and was writing regularly about what I had learned and experienced throughout the previous two years. I had also hired a life coach, was reading a lot of self-help books and landed a job that matches my desire for flexibility and variety. Things were on the up and up and, I was optimistic about my future. However, for two years straight, I felt like a trainwreck.
During those two years, as my health declined, and I felt like I was never going to do anything meaningful with my life (being a mom wasn’t enough for me), it was a discovery process of what I needed to address emotionally, what wasn’t working in my life, and what I needed to change. This was also on the heels of unaddressed post-partum depression. And ultimately, what started to happen was decades of unresolved grief started to manifest in my business and life during that time, too.
Fast-forward to 2017, after three years of personal development work, an opportunity fell into my lap and the book that I longed to write was starting to come to fruition. My dream of one day writing a book was actually becoming a reality! Nearly every weekday morning, for two months straight, I got up at 5:30 AM to write. Then, while in the editing phase of the book, I would be hit with a loss that would bring up the deepest, unaddressed wound I had – the loss of my dad. My dad’s only living brother, and the one whom my dad was closest to, had brain cancer. And, the moment I heard the news that he was in the hospital, I decided right then I needed to see him, despite the thirty years that had passed since my dad’s funeral, which was the last time I ever saw him. So, the same day of receiving the news, I went to see him; not knowing if he’d want to see me, recognize me, or even if he was well enough to have a conversation. With a knock on that hospital door, the trajectory of my life would change, solely on that one decision, to knock on his hospital door. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and yet, I felt with every intuitive bone in me, that was exactly where I was meant to be.
The visit was incredibly healing, and the timing divine, because within fifteen minutes of my arrival, his daughter and niece arrived, neither of whom I’d seen since a kid. We were all shocked to see each other there and it was a moment I will never forget. And, the months that followed, were the greatest gift to my heart, as I would be gifted with several more visits with my uncle, and with his passing, I had felt we both received a gift we hadn’t expected, and one that would have never been possible had I not chosen to put my ego aside, risk my own heart, and knock on that door.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, grief makes us feel like we don’t have choices. Let this story illustrate to you that we always, always have a choice. And, doing nothing is a choice, too. That one act led to me realizing that I wasn’t okay. The inner-work that I had been doing up to that point, albeit not wasted, hadn’t actually addressed the root of all of my issues – the grief! It was that experience with my uncle that prompted a Google search that landed me on The Grief Recovery Institute website, which led to me registering for certification that was later canceled (I couldn’t believe it), that led to me booking a flight to Austin, TX to do my training there scheduled for the same time. I knew what I needed and I wasn’t about to let anything stop me at that point. Again, I had another choice to make. Do I take that cancelation as the end-all, be-all option? Or, do I find the resources to make, what I knew I intuitively was guided to, happen no matter the extra cost? I obviously chose the latter. Again, I had a decision to make; I could choose to live in my grief another year, which is what it would’ve been before another training within driving distance would’ve taken place, or answer the call of my heart. Thankfully, I chose wisely and, my heart has not been the same since.
It was not until after grief recovery where I knew I was healing. Surprise! But, it’s absolutely the truth. Because, for the first time in my life, I was able to have conversations I had never been able to have with the people closest to me, and not find myself a wreck for days that followed. The more I utilized the tools and knowledge of grief recovery, the less I looked to others to give me what I needed to be giving myself (love, affirmation, validation, etc.). My confidence started to grow and my self-awareness was through the roof. It was as if the veil of grief (which I’ve spoken about on my podcast) had been lifted and, I was seeing my life (past and present) with new eyes. I had the most life-changing experience when I went through the grief recovery method. And, it’s in knowing how hard it is to do the work, how emotionally and physically taxing it feels in the process, that I can guide others through the same process. It is anything but easy. And, it brings up stuff that you thought was long buried. However, in grief, you’re already suffering. You may as well be suffering and moving your feet. You may as well be moving one foot in front of the other, knowing that week by week of going through the process, you’re shedding another layer, and lifting that veil of grief higher and higher, until you, too, see clearly. Grief recovery is a clarifier of your life, a purifier of your heart, and allows you to be an emotional processing plant rather than the emotional storage tank you have been.
10 Ways You Know You’re Healing Emotionally
You find yourself changing your behaviors. Where you used to get angry about something someone said/did, you can step back from the situation and consider why that reaction provoked you. You may also be choosing healthier options in food, drink, or even friends.
You’ve discovered what your boundaries are and have implemented them in your relationships and life.
You’re no longer a pile of tears in the fetal position after you start talking about a story of loss or something that happened to you.
You no longer feel the need to share the story with anyone who will listen. By this, I mean that you’re not sharing with the intention of needing or getting something in return: sympathy, validation, affirmation, etc. You find yourself sharing because 1. you were asked 2. because you have found your way beyond the pain and want to share to inspire and connect. You understand grief because you’ve been there. You understand life beyond it, too, though, because it no longer dictates your life either.
When other people share their emotional stories, it doesn’t bring up your emotional pain thereby, causing an emotional reaction in you.
You see opportunities where there was once fear.
You feel hopeful about your future.
You find yourself pausing, bringing awareness to your feelings, before responding to situations or people with your emotions. The phrase I tell myself, “I don’t know what I don’t know” is my go-to to help me with this one.
When wounds from the past, that you long thought you buried, come up out of the blue, rather than resort to the same behaviors you used to, to feel better at that moment, you sit with all of the feelings, and seek support or help to work through it.
You ask for help. We do not heal on an island. We heal in community with others; with support, guidance, and a heart with ears.
I hope today’s blog post provided some good insight into healing; that it’s a journey of self-discovery and every choice you make can either make or break your path to healing your heart.
We go to the doctor when we have a broken bone. We go to the dentist when we have a broken tooth. And yet, when we have a broken heart, we somehow think we can intellectually and logically heal hearts.
You can’t heal the heart with the head. You must tap into your heart. It is necessary to dig up the past if you want to heal it. Those that feel differently about that are likely not ready (or willing) to face what has long been emotionally unresolved within themselves.
My word of caution to all those hurting today reading this: be careful who you take your advice from; it could potentially be more harmful and hurtful to your healing. Many people value freedom. However, where most people miss the mark is understanding that the most difficult prison to break free from is the prison of one’s own mind. Being attentive to your heart will bring you the kind of freedom that can’t be bought. The caveat? You have to choose to do the difficult inner-work to get there. And, doing that is also choosing a more fulfilling, emotionally stable, and joy-filled life.
P.S. TODAY, 6/11, is the ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my podcast GRIEVING VOICES!!! 📣🥳Thank you so much for listening, sharing, reviewing, rating, being a guest if you have been one (or are upcoming), and overall support! I am a one-woman show when it comes to the podcast, and I’ve definitely learned a TON along the way. And to think, I was hesitant and unsure right away because I wasn’t sure anyone would want to share their stories. And now, people wanting to be guests pop up left and right. And, if you are wanting to be a guest, and share your story, please head HERE and fill out this form. I don’t care if you’re an expert in a field or not; the premise of the show is to share your grieving voice and story. Everything beyond that is secondary.
Educational, Grief, Grief Tips, Growth, Living Unleashed, Mind/Body Wellness, Personal, Pespective, Reiki, Resources |
What I Do & How I’m Different
Today, I thought I would speak about what I do, how I’m different, and the type of client I resonate most with.
What I Do
Through grief healing programs, I walk you through the process of being leashed to grief – to being unleashed and emotionally free.
Through online and in-person programs, trailblazers like you realize that the one area of your life that’s always had a background presence is the one area you’ve also never addressed (i.e., grief). You have not connected the dots that loss, suffering, and grief have negatively impacted your life. But, you recognize that the chip on your shoulder, the poison (i.e., resentment) you’re drinking, hoping the other person dies, and the anger that’s been stewing from years past isn’t helping you live the life you envisioned for yourself. You know it could be better; you just haven’t found the how.
That’s where I come in – empowering and equipping you to help yourself.
There is no magic pill, and what I have to offer isn’t that. However, it does feel like a magical formula that works in magical ways in your life. When paired together, I believe I have found two programs that will be the key to you becoming unleashed from your past and unlocking your future. They have certainly done that for me. And I have already seen amazing results for my clients. While the Grief Recovery Method® was the light at the end of the dark tunnel (the hope and guidance they needed to leave the pain in the rearview), YouMap® was the lantern that has illuminated their path forward.
With empathy as my number one strength and the driver of my life, my approach is heart-centered. Please take a peek at my own YouMap® and, it’s clear to me that I am fully aligned in the work that I do with every service I offer, including Reiki and End-of-Life services (which I have yet to bring to the forefront). What brings me fulfillment is being of service in a meaningful way. I love helping others unlock their own potential, and, for the vast majority of us, the secret sauce is addressing the very stuff of our hearts we try so desperately to avoid or bury. And, an area of service I have yet to share fully is to help those dying die in a way that honors their wishes, helps them and their loved ones feel supported, and provide guidance for end-of-life, in general. There’s so much to share I haven’t even gotten to yet!
On a final note that supports what I do, I am the only Advanced Grief Recovery Method Specialist in the world certified as a YouMap® coach and vice versa. And, because 1 in 33 million people share the same top 5 strengths as me (or you), it is a particular skill-set I bring to grievers and those who want to uplevel their lives (and, in turn, their energy).
Be The Trailblazer of Your Life
The trailblazer is the go-getter, the do-er, a maverick, of sorts. You know you’re meant for more but have found yourself, year after year, stuck in the same old patterns of behavior that, well, keep you stuck. You may be the CEO of your home, wrangling all of the kids to their activities, all the while, you’re time is consumed by PTO/PTA, church council, city board, and the care of the household. Perhaps, on top of all of those duties, you also work outside the home, or perhaps, you have your own business, too.
You know your life (and/or business/career) could be better. You know you have a hard time making decisions. You likely feel inadequate in some ways, and if in business especially, you struggle with people skills and time management. You’re often feeling scatter-brained, have difficulty focusing, and most days could use a personal secretary. All the while, it feels like everyone around you isn’t struggling like you are. They go about their day unaffected by the little things that seem to set you off into a tailspin. – life could be better. You want life to be better. You want to feel better about your life. You know there’s potential for amazing things to come to fruition, but all of that seems out of reach. And, you also recognize that there’s a good reason for the struggle. You just haven’t connected the dots – yet.
You may not see yourself as a trailblazer, but if there’s one thing I have learned doing this work myself and with others, it is with momentum, you will become one. Once you start paving your path and blazing your own trail, you realize there’s nothing that can stop you. And, you’ll also feel far more prepared for the curveballs and sh*t-storms that happen in the future when you have the tools you learn through Grief Recovery to fall back on and rather than respond, approach the situation with a proactive mindset because you will have learned how to prevent yourself from further unnecessary suffering (through the knowledge gained in your YouMap®).
Connecting the Dots
You may be drinking more than you know you should be some nights. However, given the stress and anxiety you feel, it brings you relief and an escape for a time. The credit card debt may be racking up because spending money on things you don’t need has become another past-time to feel better. As a result of the shame and added stress these other behaviors (or behaviors like these) are causing in your life, you’re quick to anger. So, to combat the conflict at home, you’re becoming a workaholic.
Consider the losses in your life since childhood. These losses stack up. From losing a beloved pet, a grandparent that was more like a parent to you, a traumatic experience, or growing up in a dysfunctional home – perhaps with an alcoholic or witnessing domestic violence – your upbringing impacts your decision-making well into adulthood.
The cure to understanding the who, what, and why is to dig deep – in a guided, supported way. Unlike years of therapy (which has its place) and popping pills, tipping the bottle, or relying on mantras and affirmations (although these do have their time and place, too) – grief recovery is action. Through grief recovery, you go emotional mining, however, not in a willy-nilly way. Through an evidence-proven method, you’re guided through your inner, emotional experiences, thereby transforming your outer experience.
If a transformation of your heart, and your life, is what you seek, there is hope. If, what you’ve been doing, hasn’t been working, seriously ask yourself what you believe to be true about your life with grief. Are you exhausted by the emotional weight you’re carrying?
That boulder can be lifted, believe me.
And, I promise you – grief recovery is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. There is nothing else like it. It’s trademarked for a reason. Kent University studied it for a reason. It works. Experience the difference for yourself.
For those that believe you don’t have to look back to heal – I’m talking to you, too.
How has sweeping the pain under the rug been working for you?
I know it hasn’t because I did the same. And, because we’re all taught the same myths about grief, we’re all “under-the-rug-sweepers” to some degree.
Start sweeping your doorstep today, and you’ll see how the dust begins to settle in all areas of your life.
I’ve so been there, friend. I was you. It’s pretty amazing on the other side of the pain. I hope you join me.
P.S. Would you like to learn more? Schedule a free, no-obligation consultation!
